Tofu

Making the Brand

Insert OJ caption here

I promised some vegetarian material.

And it’s coming. Believe, me, it is.

It’s just that I have a bull’s horn in my pocket, bull blood on my gloves, bull poo on my pants, and a bull’s testicle in my pocket right now. So I’m having a hard time thinking about tofu. (more…)

We Got Beef

I must break you

What is the most delicious animal?

For as long as I can remember, the answer to this question was a no-brainer.  Ever since my mom started making the best spaghetti carbonara ever when I was about five years old, the pig – He Who is Made of Bacon – was number one with a bullet. Over the thirty-plus years since, the world has seen extraordinary changes, but one thing has remained constant: the swine in pole position.

Until now.

(more…)

A Year in Steer

The Portable Chef and friends bought an entire grass-fed steer and are cataloguing it, bite by bite.

5/14/11

27. Uri, filet mignon, homemade crouton, wilted spinach with lime, hulled barley with adzuki beans

3/22/11

26. Maamoun, Top sirloin steak

3/22/11.

25. Tanvi, New York strip steak with sauteed spinach

3/22/11

24. Tanvi, beef and mushroom lasagna (ground beef)

3/15/11

23. Jeremy, T-bone steak pan-roasted with butter and herbs

3/12/11

22. Tanvi, Spaghetti Bolognese (ground beef)

3/8/11

21. Maamoun, steak sandwich (sandwich steak)

3/7/11

20. Tara, goulash (stew meat), with spaetzle with brown butter and roasted carrots and a bottle of Anton Paul Zweigelt, Blaufrankisch, and Merlot blend

3/5/11

19. Jeremy, cheeseburger (ground beef) with the works

3/4/11

18. Uri, sauteed beef with coconut milk (sandwich steak)

3/3/11

17. Jeremy, meat loaf (ground beef)

2/11/11

16. Uri, salad with ground beef, baby greens, almonds, cranberries, and blood orange vinaigrette

2/9/11

16. Jesse, burger

2/8/11

14. Uri, Ground beef with penang curry and cranberries, shredded broccoli and carrots

2/4/11

13. Uri, chuck steak braised in ale with mushrooms, onions, and bacon

2/3/11

12. Jesse and Liz, top sirloin, pan-seared and roasted, squash, broccoli

2/2/11

11. Maamoun and Andy, pan-seared ribeye steak with mashed potatoes

1/31/11

10. Jonathan and Carleen, homemade pasta Bolognese (ground beef)

1/28/11

9. Uri, salad of baby greens with ground beef, almonds, and truffle salt

1/27/11

8. Andy and Maamoun, Beef Bourguignon (chuck steak), baby lettuce salad

1/25/11

7. Lasagne al forno con sugo di Eduardo Pazzo

1/24/11

6. New York strip steak

1/23/11

5. Mongolian beef with cabbage and peppers (ground beef)

1/22/11

4. Ground beef. Fusilli with meat sauce

1/21/11

Lots of ground beef in the early going.  But we do have a ways to go.

3. Meatballs from the Frankie Spuntino Cookbook (ground beef)

1/20/11

2. Cincinnati Chili (ground beef)

1/19/11

After completing the 2010 Beef Draft, the first thing I made was a burger.

I started thinking about the enormity of our purchase relative to the size of my burger, which was providing an entirely filling and memorable meal.  If my quarter-poundish burger was an average serving size, and we had 550 pounds of beef (the 600 lbs. shipping weight minus some for bones and packaging), then there were 2,200 individual meals to be had from our one steer – in hundreds of separate preparations.

And I thought, wouldn’t it be great to record those meals?

Fortunately, these thoughts occurred to me just seconds before what would have been a concept-killing last bite:

1. Burger. Ground beef, Food for Life sprouted grain muffin, special sauce

My draftmates are game.  This blog post will be continually updated with new photos of meals from Crazy Eddie beef.

Bologna Helped Me See the Error of My Ways

I’d always thought of David Sedaris as, well, not that funny. That’s all changed.

Why Won’t My Milk Foam Up, Dammit?

I have an awesome milk provider.  Every weekend an Amish couple brings me raw milk, which would be illegal if it weren’t, um, for my pet; this stuff is a game-changer.  For the first time since 1985, I now sit down and have a glass of milk from time to time.  A straight-up glass of milk! (more…)

Pronounce That Scotch!

Angela bought me an 18-year-old scotch as a holiday gift.  It’s treasured.  Trouble is, I wasn’t sure how to pronounce its name, Aberlour.  The problem was immortalized in verse (sort of ) by a reader of Whisky Magazine’s forum: (more…)

Women Laughing Alone With Salad

Sometimes, the title says it all.  But wait – there’s more.  A lot more.

Thank you, kottke.org.

Steaks are High

The 2011 rib steak (l) and last year's model (r)

I’ve got a freezer containing of 3/8 of a massive steer.   (more…)