Bologna Helped Me See the Error of My Ways

I’d always thought of David Sedaris as, well, not that funny. That’s all changed.

Why Won’t My Milk Foam Up, Dammit?

I have an awesome milk provider.  Every weekend an Amish couple brings me raw milk, which would be illegal if it weren’t, um, for my pet; this stuff is a game-changer.  For the first time since 1985, I now sit down and have a glass of milk from time to time.  A straight-up glass of milk! …Read the rest of this article »

Pronounce That Scotch!

Angela bought me an 18-year-old scotch as a holiday gift.  It’s treasured.  Trouble is, I wasn’t sure how to pronounce its name, Aberlour.  The problem was immortalized in verse (sort of ) by a reader of Whisky Magazine’s forum: …Read the rest of this article »

Women Laughing Alone With Salad

Sometimes, the title says it all.  But wait – there’s more.  A lot more.

Thank you, kottke.org.

Steaks are High

The 2011 rib steak (l) and last year's model (r)

I’ve got a freezer containing of 3/8 of a massive steer.   …Read the rest of this article »

Beef Draft II: The Beefening

Now with 50% more beef!  While last year’s cow weighed 586 pounds, this year’s came in at a whopping 880.  To accommodate, we added a few slots to the draft, bringing the total to 10.

The delivery arrived around noon.  The shipment was six 100lb boxes; these things were massive. When the Fedex guys realized I lived in a third-floor walkup, they convincingly feigned injury and got the hell out of there. …Read the rest of this article »

Cry Me a Liver

As part of a pact made during last year’s beef draft, and part of my own plans to step closer to the food I eat, I kept the liver and promised to make it for everybody at the following year’s draft.  So, with the 2010 draft taking place that evening, the time had come.   …Read the rest of this article »

Angela and I Eat Tarantulas

Romdeng, a restaurant in Phnom Penh, has its heart in the right place. It’s staffed entirely by orphans and gives them skills (and a salary) they’d otherwise not have.  It’s the kind of place you really want to love.

But man, that place overcooks their tarantula.

…Read the rest of this article »

Is There Any Possible Way Foie Gras Could Be Morally Tolerable? Please?

Duck, duck, goose

Does the eating foie gras make us Torquemadas of duckdom?

I was always a little scared to know the answer.  We all know the basics of foie gras manufacture. Ducks are force fed calorie-dense food a few times a day for several weeks, until their livers get fatty and enormous – up to a tenth of the bird’s total bodyweight.  It all sounds a bit like torture, doesn’t it?

I was a little scared to know for sure – because foie gras, of course, is mind-blowingly delicious.   …Read the rest of this article »

There Will Be Blood

Face it: eating the whole animal can be a little unsettling

The idea of eating the whole animal, the movement away from 36-packs of boneless skinless chicken breasts at Costco, isn’t something dreamed up by a bunch of elitist fucks.   …Read the rest of this article »